Winter 2011


MY VAGINAL LIPS ARE SEALED

Can you keep a secret? You have
to have magnificent cloudy
markings or naturally long-
winded lips; this gives

you the canvas or surface area
needed to fold intonations
of voice and forms of phrasing
into a variety of shapes.

I guess in a way you could say
it’s my guilty pleasure: labia origami.
And meanwhile, Danny Devito is giving
away a shitload of personal info

on The View. I’d like to have my share
now, rather than having to wait for him
to die slowly of starvation and thirst,
like Terry Schiavo. Do you know what

happens to a clitoris-licking frog
in a coma? He feels minor irritation,
using Preparation H to shrink *ahem*
the bags under his swollen eyes.

The tears he cries over a failed
battery-discharging plantar wart but
oh so good with a glass of milk!
Yum. Why do I have to be so darn

good looking? Think I’ll hide in a box
hahaha what up guiys i am like
so bored I thought I would
get my knickers in a twist.

BENJAMIN FRIEDLANDER

 

The player will show in this paragraph

"Ameta," filmed by the American Mutoscope and Biograph Company, 1903